Babylon A.D.
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Movie Reviews of Babylon A.D.
Movie Review: Not Buying It
Summary: 2 Stars
Nope,I'm not buying it--either the movie itself or the premise that deep inside this is a really good movie ruined by bad editing, inattentive audiences, or the evil designs of the Tooth Fairy. Babylon AD is an almost incomprehensible set of action sequences set mostly in a Mad Max post-apocalyptic future, and nothing more. Vin hits people, Vin shoots people, people hit and shoot Vin, and stuff blows up all over the place, and nothing else in the movie is anything more than a thinly disguised way to get from one action sequence to another. Does that make it a bad movie? Depends on your criteria, I guess. I thought my time had been wasted, but then, you might not. Just don't expect more than things going boom.Movie Review: Disappointing
Summary: 2 Stars
It seemed interesting, but honestly it felt like this movie was just filming without a direction. You never really understand the purpose of some characters, scenes seem randomized, and the ending was like they wanted to make a shocking twist but in the end you just are thinking why did I watch this film. Honestly this film was a huge disappointment.Movie Review: Good beginning - lousy end
Summary: 2 Stars
The movie had a lot of action and suspense thoughout until you got to the very end. A real waste of time and money. The writer and director should be ashamed. If you really want to watch this DVD - let the end remain a mystery - turn it off.Movie Review: Babylon falls
Summary: 1 Stars
When the director of a movie disses his own creation as it's released, you know that you're in for something spectacular. Spectacularly ghastly.
Alas, such is the case with Mathieu Kassovitz's "Babylon A.D." You can see why the director denounced his own work -- the end result is an incoherently chaotic thriller that comes across as the malformed, mildly psychotic love child of "Children of Men" and "Blade Runner." There are some really bad movies out there, but "Babylon A.D."'s incoherence puts it in a place of honor.
A Russian mobster (Gerard Depardieu) hires a thuggish mercenary with the bizarre name of Toorop (Vin Diesel) to do a simple task -- transport a girl named Aurora (Melanie Thierry) and her guardian Noelite nun (Michelle Yeoh) to New York. But it soon becomes obvious that Aurora is no ordinary charge -- she seems to have precognition and inherent knowledge that a sheltered girl could never have, such as how to operate a submarine. No, I am not making this up.
But it soon becomes obvious to Toorop that more is going on here than it appears -- apparently a malign High Priestess (Charlotte Rampling) is aiming to create a genetically-engineered messiah, which Aurora is now pregnant with (she's a virgin, by the way). Now Toorop -- whose cold, dark, selfish heart has been touched by Aurora -- must try to keep her safe from those who would use her...
The movie may be called "Babylon A.D.," but a better title would be "Babble-on Addled." Apparently Kassovitz's original creation was thoroughly sliced'n'diced in the editing room, and seemingly random parts were stitched back together. Therefore, this Frankenstein's monster is graced with more violence than plot, and manages to be both painfully simplistic and incomprehensible.
Admittedly, I doubt that it would have been worth much anyway -- the absurd religious criticism is handled with the subtlety of a sledgehammer in the eye (Virgin birth? "Noelite"?), and the dirty dystopia reeks of better, more unique movies that have come before.
But the choppy reediting makes it phenomenally awful -- about half the plot seems to have been whittled away. Presumably the plot was pared down to make room for the action sequences, which are filmed in a blurry, eyeball-jarring manner. Some of them -- like the snowmobile chase -- are outright ridiculous. Pair that with some truly excruciating dialogue ("Cross me and you'll have no place to hide anymore, Toorop." "It goes both ways, Gorsky"), and you're guaranteed to have a headache.
And near the end, the plot goes utterly downhill -- major developments spring up out of nowhere with only the barest shreds of foreshadowing, before spiraling down to a ghastly out-of-nowhere ending. It's as if someone slapped together two radically different versions of the same story, and expected the result to make sense.
Vin Diesel is playing basically the same character he always plays -- a thuggish, violent sort who Lives By His Own Rules and growls threateningly at everyone. Diesel is a pretty bad actor, but even a brilliant one would be hard-pressed to handle this dreck -- particularly since, late in the movie, we suddenly find out that he's got a Special Connection to Aurora.
Of course, Aurora is an even bigger waste -- she's super-smart, super-talented, super-pure, and bleats about sensing death when she isn't kicking butt with yet more magic abilities. Absolutely zero sense. Michelle Yeoh, Charlotte Rampling and Gerard Depardieu are all utterly wasted here, and it's almost embarrassing to see such good actors getting such a raw deal.
"Babylon A.D." is a spectacularly wretched piece of work, with a disastrously messy plot and random violence. Definitely give it a miss.
Movie Review: What happened to the quality Sci-Fi movies?
Summary: 1 Stars
Maybe it was the fact that the movie did not meet my expectations, or maybe it was the fact that I wanted to see more in a Vin Diesel Sci-fi movie (like Chronicles of Riddick, Pitch Black), or in a action/adventure thriller (like XXX). Whatever the reason, I was very disappointed in Babylon A.D. You had everything that should have made this a fantastic movie...decent actors, a plot with potential and great special effects, but you didn't have a plot that was well executed and nothing really original. There were several bites off of other sci-fi movies, with no real twists or variations. And at the end of the movie, I just felt a little cheated.
Toorop (Vin Diesel) has been asked to deliver Arora and her guardian/protector, Neolite (Yeoh) from a convent to the US. Apparently the younger woman has something that everyone wants and what it is you have to sit thru several brilliantly choreographed fight scenes, sizzling special effects to find out. However, although you will find yourself mildly amused and entertained, you will also find yourself looking at the person next to you and saying, "did I miss something?" or "did I fall asleep"? Perhaps better plot execution would have made this movie more appealing to the average Sci-Fi lover.