Ator the Fighting Eagle
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Movie Reviews of Ator the Fighting Eagle
Movie Review: Not uncut
Summary: 3 Stars
The american version from Ator the fighting eagle is not uncut. On the case of this DVD is written, that this movie has an running time of 98 minutes. This movie is five minutes shorter.
I have found two cuted scenes in this movie.
1. Roon and Ator are running away from the undead. One of them are hidden and catch the amazon. He struggle the woman but Ator is able to help her. Roon said in the german FSK 16 version: "Danke! Schon wieder hast du mein leben gerettet." Translated: "Thank you. You have saved my live again."
2. The last fight Roon against five black knights is probably also cut but I don't now it certainly.
It is pity, that this movie is cut. The uncut version would be better and more interesting.
The story was to short and the script writer hasn't very much good ideas. A better story and this movie would be better.
Movie Review: Beware the Kingdom of the Spider
Summary: 2 Stars
Miles O'Keefe stars as the title character in this Conan rip-off. Ator is the prophesied son of a god and destined to destroy the Ancient One. But his future and the mark of his destiny have been hidden by a mysterious warrior. On his wedding day, Ator witnesses the destruction of his village by the Black Knights, warriors from the Kingdom of the Spider. His bride has been taken captive and Ator swears he will rescue her.
Ator has a one track mind in his quest to rescue his bride. He trains with the mysterious warrior and sets out to the rescue. The evil kingdom is headed by a strange priest who likes to stroke tarantulas. Oddly enough, even though it is the Kingdom of the Spider, their symbol seems to be an eagle. Meanwhile Ator gets closer and closer and goes through typical sword & Sorcery trials until the final confrontation with one of the worst special effects in film history.
Miles may have a good build, but his hair has got to go in this movie. He keeps looking like he is in drag. During the wedding scene we see some very well executed dancing only to move right into badly executed fighting. This is also the only film I have ever seen where a victim is tied, actually tied with rope, to a spider web (what, it's not sticky?). In the end some viewers will have had fun with this one, either with heckling it or just outright laughing at it. But if you are looking for good Sword & Sorcery, this one is laughable at best.
Movie Review: "The earth trembles like a virgin being drawn to the nuptial bed..."
Summary: 1 Stars
Yes, the above is an actual line of dialogue from this little stinker. The most priceless dialogue exchange, however, comes in the first ten minutes of the film:
ATOR: (to Sunya, his love interest) I love you.
SUNYA: And I love you.
ATOR: Why can't we marry?
SUNYA: Ator, we are brother and sister.
ATOR: (pauses, presumably so the audience can close their mouths) I'll talk with our father.
Thankfully (?!), Ator narrowly escapes being the village's creepy, sister-lovin' freak on the technicality that he is actually ADOPTED, and therefore not actually related to Sunya! Ator's adopted father, not at all weirded out by Ator's, er, affection for his daughter, immediately throws a big wedding for the two lovebirds. Unfortunately, their village is raided by the henchmen of some creepy dude who likes to pet tarantulas all day---hmm, perhaps he's the "Grand Priest of the Spider" mentioned on the box?---and Sunya is kidnapped! Now we must join Ator, he of the furry boots and horribly teased blonde mane, as he fights to rescue his bride and defeat the evil of the Main Evil Guy!
I don't know how the director / writers managed it, but I was bored stiff by this film, despite the incest angle and the fact that they threw in all the sword-and-sorcery plot points that could possibly exist: evil, seductive sorceresses, giant spiders, fair young maiden kidnappings, village slaughterings, walking dead, cutesy animal sidekicks, magical swords, helpful thieves, etc.
Despite all this, the only time I was genuinely interested in the movie was when Keeog, Ator's insanely adorable bear cub sidekick (shades of "Beastmaster," much?), was in action. And believe me, the poor thing was in action for most of the movie! He does more than Ator and his Amazon traveling companion combined! I'm sure someone somewhere has already concocted a suitable drinking game for this...i.e., every time Keeog appears for no apparent reason, take a sip. Every time Keeog saves someone's butt, take a shot. I imagine you will be very, very drunk before the credits start rolling...
Anyways, as you've probably guessed by now, the movie is pretty damn terrible, mostly due to the overly convoluted plot (?) and Miles O'Keefe's "I'm-either-thinking-or-terribly-constipated" stare. Recommended only if you are a die-hard fan of sword-and-sorcery flicks, or if you need something to mock over beers with the buddies, MST3K-style.
Movie Review: "Unable to Read Disc"
Summary: 1 Stars
This is what I saw approximately two minutes before the end credits. I worked hard to watch (yes, watching a movie this bad is indeed hard work) all the way from Chapter 1 of the scene selection to Chapter 12, and "Unable to Read Disc" came up right in the middle of Chapter 12. Ator killed the big puppet spider, and immediately after the start of Roon's death scene, the DVD failed. I was cheated out of an ending.
Not that it really matters. What ending could possibly satisfy anybody who's watched more than 15 minutes of this junk? If you've seen Cave Dwellers or Ator the Invincible, you know what I'm talking about. Loads and loads of padding facilitated by slow movement of actors and pauses in dialogue.
Ator's supposed to be some kind of Jesus figure prophesied by holy scriptures to cause the downfall of the Spider Kingdom. The black knights of the kingdom seek his life of course, but he's protected by a fellow named Greeba (I think) as a baby. Then he's given to a set of foster parents. When he's grown up, he falls in love with his foster sister, and they get married. During the ceremony the black knights capture her, and Ator goes on a quest for revenge.
Ator meets with Roon (one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen) who agrees to help him on his quest in return for a portion of the treasure of the Spider King. Ator and Roon fight black knights, bypass blind warriors, cross through a (rather sunny) land of the undead, and fight mythical shadows born from cheap special effects before they reach the Temple of the Spider. The Spider King is rather easy to defeat. He explodes when a mirror shield is shined on him. After a horribly executed Greeba-turns-villian plot twist, Ator kills the puppet spider in a very long yet highly uneventful scene, then rescues his sister/woman, and I don't know what happens after that.
I know I had Cave Dwellers fever when I bought this thing, but still, what the heck was I thinking?
Another problem I had with the DVD (besides it dying out on me at the end of the movie) was that its music was too loud and its dialogue was too quiet. I really had to have the remote control's volume button handy while watching this thing.
Avoid at all costs, even if you are a huge MST3K/Ator fan.
Movie Review: Cave Dwellers' Prequel--if you dare!
Summary: 1 Stars
MST3K fans are familiar with "Cave Dwellers",the story of Ator's quest for the geometric nucleus. "Cave Dwellers" has a loooong backstory ("Tolkien couldn't follow this plot"),showing scenes from this cheesefest.
"Ator the Fighting Eagle" sets the stage for Miles O'Keeffe's rip-roaring sword and sorcery "epic." Ator is born in accordance with a prophecy that he'll defeat an evil Spider King. Spiders are a favorite stock villain in cheesy fantasy flicks... like this one. Ator's parents are killed & he's raised by Griba. He finds himself enamored of his adoptive sister Sunya (he doesn't know she's adopted),so he asks his foster father for permission. Griba reveals that he and Sunya aren't blood relatives anyhow. There's a wedding feast,only for dark knights to sweep in and carry Sunya off. So, Ator embarks on his fateful quest. He meets a menacing sorceress who keeps herself eternally young thanks to a nearby magic mirror. He also finds the Shield of Mordor (Tolkien misuse!) to defeat the evil spider,more cheap special effects. There's a volcanic eruption that looks like it came straight out of an elementary school student's science project.
"Ator the Fighting Eagle" is a groaner. It's a ham and cheesefest... too bad Mystery Science Theater 3000 didn't tackle this one. It's perfect for the Satellite of Love!