Armageddon
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DVD Cover Information
Actor: Ben Affleck, Clark Heathcliffe Brolly, Keith David, Ken Hudson Campbell, Steve BuscemiBrand: WILLIS,BRUCE
Primary Contributor: Thornton, Billy Bob
Primary Contributor: Tyler, Liv
Primary Contributor: Willis, Bruce
DVD: 2 Layers, Region Code 1
Audio: English (Original Language), Dolby Digital 5.1; Spanish (Original Language), Dolby Digital 2.0 Surround
Format: AC-3, Closed-captioned, Color, Widescreen
Picture Format: Letterbox, 2.35:1
Running Time: 151 minutes
DVD Release Date: 1999-01-05
Audience Rating: Unrated
Studio: Buena Vista Home Entertainment / Touchstone
Movie Reviews of Armageddon
Movie Review: watch this and forever hate Bruckheimer/Bay
Summary: 1 Stars
I watched this movie in the theater 10 years ago, and I remember it as clear as day.
This movie was the first and only movie I've ever seen that made me so angry as to make me seek out who was responsible for it. "Michael Bay" and "Jerry Bruckheimer" have been etched in my brain ever since, and I avoid their stuff like the plague.
I think what made me most angry about this particular disaster was that it was so long. It was absolutely hollow, it did not make me care about any of the characters in the slightest. The movie went off on these annoying distractions, like the stupid Bruce Willis character chasing the other guy around over his daughter forever. There wasn't one reason for that. There was absolutely no suspense or pacing of any kind. It was nonstop motivational speeches and a crescendo of dramatic save-the-world music every 2 minutes for every little thing.
Without exaggeration, this was the most horrible experience I've ever had at the theater. I just wanted it to end so bad, but it went on and on and on and on. I was emotionally exhausted from sheer absolute hatred and resentment at the filmakers for putting me through that experience, and vowed to forever take responsibility for what I saw in the theaters after that.
Did I mention I hated this movie?
On the other hand, if you're a film student, then this is a *must see* film. Seriously, it will give you that boost of confidence in your abilities you've been looking for. Plus, if, someday, you ever need to figure out the most efficient way to take millions of dollars and turn it pound for pound into sheer hatred toward you, this would be the richest material you could find.
And to top-it-off, I log into Amazon, and find the movie averages 3 1/2 stars in user-ratings.
Wow, I mean wow. Some would argue this is the most quintessentially, universally despised movie of all-time, the one movie that all decent people would attempt to save their fellow humanity from enduring, and someone who might not know better might log into Amazon and see the 3 1/3 stars and unsuspectingly BUY this movie.
And while I'm at it, I've also never been able to understand why so many people went to see Pearl Harbor. Everyone inexplicably went to see it and then complained about how terrible it was... as if there were the chance of there being any other possible outcome? I'd have thought the first disaster exposed enough people to Bay and Bruckheimer to end their careers, but both careers have endured.
There's something seriously wrong here. I feel like I'm going crazy.
Summary of Armageddon
When an asteroid the size of Texas is headed for Earth, a ragtag team of roughneck oil drillers are sent to drop a nuclear warhead into its core.Genre: Feature Film-Action/Adventure
Rating: PG13
Release Date: 25-JAN-2005
Media Type: DVD
The latest testosterone-saturated blow-'em-up from producer Jerry Bruckheimer and director Michael Bay (The Rock, Bad Boys) continues Hollywood's millennium-fueled fascination with the destruction of our planet. There's no arguing that the successful duo understands what mainstream American audiences want in their blockbuster movies--loads of loud, eye-popping special effects, rapid- fire pacing, and patriotic flag waving. Bay's protagonists--the eight crude, lewd, oversexed (but lovable, of course) oil drillers summoned to save the world from a Texas-sized meteor hurling toward the earth--are not flawless heroes, but common men with whom all can relate. In this huge Western-in-space soap opera, they're American cowboys turned astronauts. Sci-fi buffs will appreciate Bay's fetishizing of technology, even though it's apparent he doesn't understand it as anything more than flashing lights and shiny gadgets. Smartly, the duo also tries to lure the art-house crowd, raiding the local indie acting stable and populating the film with guys like Steve Buscemi, Billy Bob Thornton, Owen Wilson, and Michael Duncan, all adding needed touches of humor and charisma. When Bay applies his sledgehammer aesthetics to the action portions of the film, it's mindless fun; it's only when Armageddon tackles humanity that it becomes truly offensive. Not since Mississippi Burning have racial and cultural stereotypes been substituted for characters so blatantly--African Americans, Japanese, Chinese, Scottish, Samoans, Muslims, French ... if it's not white and American, Bay simplifies it. Or, make that white male America; the film features only three notable females--four if you count the meteor, who's constantly referred to as a "bitch that needs drillin'," but she's a hell of a lot more developed and unpredictable than the other women characters combined. Sure, Bay's film creates some tension and contains some visceral moments, but if he can't create any redeemable characters outside of those in space, what's the point of saving the planet? --Dave McCoy
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