Anaconda
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Movie Reviews of Anaconda
Movie Review: A true guilty pleasure
Summary: 4 Stars
Anaconda is the type of film that most are totally embarrassed to say that they enjoyed. After all, its plot revolves around a forty foot snake that's hunting down members of a documentary film crew. Surprisingly, the cast pulls it all off rather nicely. The storyline begins deep in the Amazon rainforest, where a cast of documentary filmmakers are preparing to journey down the river to find a long lost indian tribe. Among the crew are director Jennifer Lopez, technical advisor Eric Stoltz, soundman Owen Wilson, narrator Jonathan Hyde, and cameraman Ice Cube. Soon after embarking on their trip, they come across slimeball Jon Voight, who's lost a propeller on his boat. After boarding, Voight takes charge and begins filling the crew's heads with ideas of capturing an anaconda, promising a big payoff. Needless to say, the snake is less than pleased about all of this, and begins making meals of the inhabitants of the boat. Lopez, in true diva form, wants to knock Voight out of power and get back to civilization before anyone else is swallowed. All of this makes for an interesting hour and a half.
The acting is actually quite good. Jonathan Hyde is a kick to watch as the British narrator of the documentary crew, and Voight hams it up in true B-movie form as the snake hunting slimeball. Wilson and Lopez are fun to see, as this film came out several years before either of them became bona-fied movie stars. Of course, the real star of the show is the anaconda, who looks surprisingly real most of the time.
Overall, this is a fun film to watch. No, it's not going to win any awards, and was panned by 90% of critics, but its still a blast to sit through provided you don't think about it too much. Some of the special effects are amazing, and the acting isn't half bad either. Well worth your time and money, at least for a rental.
Movie Review: Dey's Snakes out there `dis big?!
Summary: 4 Stars
At its core, Anaconda is just another cheesy, giant snake flick. It did, however, manage to wrangle in an impressive cast of the following people: Jennifer Lopez, Eric Stoltz, Owen Wilson, Jon Voight, Ice Cube, Kari Wuhrer, and Jonathan Hyde. How in the heck they all got roped into this movie is beyond me, but I can only assume the casting director is presently selling the Moon's real estate to Hollywood yuppies.
Anway, a film crew in Brazil is searching for a reclusive, indigenous tribe known as the People of the Mist. While they are floating down the river, they happen to run into a man on a stranded ship. This man, Paul Sarone (Jon Voight), is a big game snake hunter with the skill for capturing anacondas, the ponytail of a squalid biker, and the ability to butcher whatever accent he's attempting. He tells the crew, led by Dr. Steven Cale (Stoltz) and his girlfriend Terri Flores (Lopez), that he knows where the POTM are, but his offer to be a guide is laced with the ulterior motive to hunt down the biggest anaconda known to man. He plans to capture it, and sell it to a zoo for a fortune.
Within no time, Eric Stoltz is bed-ridden after the worst tracheotomy in history, JLo is running around in wet clothes, Owen Wilson has a broken nose, Kari Wuhrer is serving her purpose in the movie by showing skin, and Ice Cube utters one of my favorite lines in movie history: "Dey's snakes out there `dis big?!" Evidently, "Yes. Dey is."
The plot, characters, and storyline are all relatively inconsequential. It's just a fun movie to watch, as the cast fights until the end to save their lives from the insatiable - and apparently 50-foot long - anaconda that not only eats its prey, but also seems to recognize old foes, and enjoys playing with them.
Great movie.
Movie Review: Anaconda
Summary: 4 Stars
A group of filmmakers looking for a lost native tribe instead finds a man-eating monster in this thriller. Terri Flores (Jennifer Lopez) is a documentary filmmaker on assignment to make a film about the Shirishama Indians of the Amazon, a mysterious tribe known as "The People of the Mists." As Terri and her crew - cameraman Danny Rich (Ice Cube), sound engineer Gary Dixon (Owen Wilson), anthropologist Steve Cale (Eric Stoltz), production manager Denise Kahlberg (Kari Wuhrer), and host Warren Westridge (Jonathan Hyde) - head down the river, they discover a man whose boat has sunk and desperately needs rescue. Paul Sarone (Jon Voight), the mysterious stranger that they save from the waters, claims to know something of the Shirishama and says he will take the crew to them. Instead, he guides the group to the hiding place of the fearsome Anaconda, a gigantic snake that swallows a man whole, vomits him up, and eats him again. The snake is worth a fortune if captured, but its not going to go without a fight.Among the film's many delights are laughable dialogue and cheap shock thrills (so many objects leap out at viewers unexpectedly, you would think the picture was filmed in 3D). All of these elements keep the film's energy up as the body count predictably mounts. The anaconda itself is a supernaturally gifted critter with the ability to swallow a man whole, yet still maintains the fitness to move at the speed of lightning. Stalking its prey, the snake switches back and forth between a CG Loch Ness Monster to what seems to be a length of over-sized garden hose. Then there's Voight as a Great White Hunter with a marble-mouthed accent. Voight knows how bad the script is here and just sinks his fangs into a juicy, sleazy, horny, greedy character. This flick is trash, but it's fun trash.
Movie Review: Voigt Carries the Film
Summary: 4 Stars
When I watched Anaconda I was surprised that it was better than I expected. Part of the reason for that was the performance given by John Voigt.A film crew is traveling the Amazon in search of the elusive People of the Mist. On the way the rescue Voigt from a stranded ship. Voigt is a snake catcher and claims he knows where the People of the Mist can be found. In reality he is trying to lead them into anaconda territory where he hopes to catch a live specimen and make a fortune. Finally the truth comes out, as do the snakes and it becomes a battle between man and beast as well as between man and man. In the end the survivors prepare to return to their ruined careers when they stumble across the People of the Mist.
John Voigt gave an excellent performance as a Paraguayan snake catcher (Paraguayan so as no one can tell if the accent is right). John shows off a physique that shows why he was chosen to play gigolos and boxers. I did not care too much for the black cameraman. He seemed to be one great big stereotype, so city bred he can't believe that fish live in water. The only other flaw with the film is the way the snake moves. Anacondas are strong but they can not support their entire weight on the tip of their tail. It also moved faster than a striking rattlesnake. Oh well, I still really enjoyed the movie.
Movie Review: Entertaining Film, Though Not For The Faint of Heart
Summary: 4 Stars
A film crew comprised of actors Eric Stoltz, Ice Cube, Jennifer Lopez, Kari Wuhrer, Owen Wilson, and some others take a trip down to Brazil on a river to film some things, but are conned into trapping a gigantic snake - that will attempt to eat every member of the crew, eventually - when they meet a scheming snake trapper played by Jon Voight.The special effects are used to interesting degree, as the Anaconda actually is made to look convincingly real (and, yes, Anacondas are really that big.) Quite a bit of violence, blood, and gore in this one, so I wouldn't necessarily recommend it for those who are faint of heart. Some of this actually gives me the itches when I see it. In fact, I'm a bit surprised that this made a PG-13 rating, as some of the violent scenes border on R-rated material.
This film does not necessarily require a long, explanative review. It's an entertaining, cheesy, fun, disgusting action/horror flick. Heterosexual males will probably want to watch the film to see Jennifer Lopez in an uncharacteristically raw, sweaty, dirtied-up role, as well as for actress Kari Wuhrer. Fans of snakes and gore will probably find plenty to be fascinated with. But, most of all, fans of entertaining, action-packed film will find something here to enjoy. Watch at your own risk.