10,000 B.C. [Blu-ray]
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Movie Reviews of 10,000 B.C. [Blu-ray]
Movie Review: Terrible Acting And Dialogue Ruined This Movie
Summary: 2 Stars
Admittedly looking at the basis of the story and the historical inaccuracy of it all you could be put off right away from this film, as it appears to be a typical Roland Emmerich piece of over the top CGI and not enough depth. Let me be honest when I tell you that it is what it may have appeared, it is the typical Emmerich piece and it lacks serious depth and contains some terrible acting along with ridiculous dialogue. At times the CGI simply doesn't blend into what's actually taking place, during a scene where one of the tribesmen is running with a hoard of Mammoth there are parts where you clearly see that when one of the men is looking up at the Mammoth, you clearly see he's looking in the wrong direction and mistakes like this occur during the entire movie constantly ruining the illusion. With these mistakes however it's not to say that this is the worst film I've ever seen as, at times it is a very exciting picture and something that can entertain you for the runtime duration, the CGI although with the mistakes is impressive and does have your imagination running wild, which I guess is a good point.
The story is of an ancient Eurasian mountain tribe known as the Yaghal who in order to survive must hunt and kill wild Mammoth. One of the young hunters known as D'leh meets his true love Evolet and they become instantly attached, but one day that relationship is torn apart when a tribe of horse riding Warlords invade their village and kidnap Evolet. Following this D'leh and a small troop of hunters set on a quest in order to rescue Evolet and punish the warlords, but along the way they face dangers like Sabre-Tooth Cats and Terror Birds. Further on their journey they encounter other tribes who have faced the same wrath of the warlords and they all band together to form an army which will take on the "God" who has taken Evolet as his slave to build pyramids that reach into the skies.
As historically incorrect as it may be, it's still a worth while entertaining movie, but all you have to manage is to put the fact that you're watching terrible acting and try your best to ignore the dialogue.
Movie Review: Boring
Summary: 2 Stars
I took one star off for the bad science, another star for the plain acting, and the last star because it wasn't that interesting. It started off fine with a Eurasian hunter/ gather clad in an Ice Age period of 11,000BC chasing woolly mammoths. Strangely a raiding clan that looked like they were from the Iron Age (with metal) or even the Persian Empire plundered the small tribe like in Pathfinder. After that, things just doesn't make any senses anymore, nor was the acting very intriguing. Camilla Bell the main attraction was almost speechless and acted like in "the Quiet" where she played deaf. The lead character happen to wondered upon some prehistoric Terror Bird from 62-2 million years ago. Maybe there were saber-tooth tiger in the desert of African right by the Pyramid. Or somehow slave woolly mammoth were used to help build the pyramid. I believed the first Egyptian's Pyramid was built in 2600bc way later. We can forgive the movie for the bad science if the characters were more interesting or believiable, but they weren't. Why weren't there any sloth in this movie.
This is a pointless movie that took elements from other great movies and decided the timeline that would fit all this mess is 10,000BC.
Apocalypto - better pyramid slavery movie. Pathfinder- better raiding clan movie. This isn't a very good caveman movie either. Ice Age I and II had better human to animal interaction/relationship. Gladiators had better acting then this. The Geiko's Cavemen are a lot funnier then this. Being in the desert seem more agonizing in Passions of the Christ then this movie. The Beastmaster was a better beast-master then our hero here. At least the Pyramid scenes here were cooler then in the Mummy or Stargate. OK, one plus star because this film looked great on blu-ray. I like the first 1/3 of the movie.
Movie Review: Complete Fluff
Summary: 2 Stars
This was rated 2-stars only because the scenery and visual effects kept my attention to the end.
The plot is exceptionally trite: Woman stolen by raiders as sex object (Evolet) and chased after by amorous male (D'Le). The ending falls apart when Evolet is gratuitously killed and brought back to life. The viewer is constantly asked to suspend disbelief when confronted with totally inaccurate representations: slave traders on horseback with saddles and rope stirrups (but then, in the absence of discretely hidden saddle horns and rope stirrups, how could the slavers drag a line of people behind them, let alone one person, without being jerked off their horse), having to travel from Northern Europe, across Africa and the Sahara Dessert to arrive at the Nile from the West (How did they ever walk across the Mediterranean Sea?), having an advanced civilization with a full command of navigation, textiles and metallurgy exist only within the construction sited of the pyramids, having the pyramids at Giza being build by slaves and Woolly Mammoths (there has never been any evidence of slave labor, and, I doubt that Wooly Mammoth bones have never been found at the site), having the pyramids of Giza left unfinished after the slaves destroy the advanced civilization, and, having the Sahara exist as it does today (desert) rather than as it did 12,000 years ago (tropical forest). One must also ask the question, Why did a small band of slavers travel thousands of mile to the glacial peaks of Northern Europe to capture a handful of slaves when they had all of the Near East and North Africa at their door step? How could a small band of men walk all the way to Giza and back in such a short period of time?
Movie Review: Very humdrum movie (oh, was Humdrum one of the characters?)
Summary: 2 Stars
I guess it's a bad sign if while watching this film, all I could think about was what was wrong about it. I'm not going to list all of them here, but a few really stick out: 1) the stupid accents for the dreadlocked Valley people, whatever their made-up names were, 2) the dreadlocks, 3) the obviously fake blue contact lenses that Camilla Belle had to wear - they couldn't find an actress with blue eyes if it's so central to the plot? 4) Duh'bleh's (lead) father leaves at the beginning of the film to "save his people," but everyone thinks he's abandoned his tribe. It's never explained what exactly he was doing aside from leaving and why he left - HUGE plot hole. Makes absolutely no sense other than it sets up a total BS reason for the main characters to have a way to communicate with everyone else. 5) the story in general is absurd, but everyone knows that.
What I did like was the special effects, especially the mammoths. Mammoths are great. I know these types of movies (on weird origins of civilization) are Emmerich's thing, but 10,000 BC is no Stargate. It's no Day After Tomorrow either. Worth a rent, but that's it. Unless you really love mammoths.
Movie Review: 10,000 B.C. on what planet?
Summary: 2 Stars
...Because surely this couldn't be Earth we're talking about.
As far as the BD is concerned, it looks and sounds great. As far as the movie itself:
If someone had access to a huge budget and modern CGI techniques back in the 1980s 10,000 B.C. would be the result. Trust me, I wasn't expecting anything of Oscar caliber, but congratulations on making a movie that makes marginally more sense than Bestmaster or Clash of the Titans (no offense to either classic film). BTW, note to Director Roland Emmerich: Your own movie Stargate and Mel Gibson's Apacalypto called and they want their respective plots back!!! Also William Wallace and General Maximus are pissed! If brainless fantasy masquerading as historical fiction is your cup of tea, look no further.
And man o man; I took a peak at some of the few special features on this disk. Are the director and that writer/historian Graham really serious in that short documentary about there inspiration(s) for coming up with this preposterous story? I guess so.